“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.”—Dan Pearce
Self-love is an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue. It is accepting and celebrating your value and worth.
Successful people understand and accept the fact that their true value is not in what they possess or accomplish—as good as that may be—but in the intrinsic or inherent value of human life.
They know that what they have or do not have does not, in any way, diminish or reduce their true personal value. They understand that they are valuable because of who they are and that it is their intrinsic or inherent value that gives value to whatever else they may possess or accomplish.
Great people are not pressured by the desire to 'own' or 'possess' things in order to make themselves valuable. They are firmly established in their personal value or worth as human beings.
Success and Self-Worth
These people do not labour to acquire or possess things to prove their worth or value. They already know that their value or worth is independent of material or physical possessions and accomplishments. Rather, their quest for success and impact is a result of their desire for self-manifestation.
It is then this self-manifestation that attracts and brings the material or physical possessions and accomplishments. Success is the unseen value or worth of the human person transmuted into its material or physical equivalents, which is manifested in the form of material or physical possessions and accomplishments.
Every truly successful person has mastered the art of self-love through the acceptance and celebration of his personal intrinsic or inherent value and worth as a human being.
Please reason with me for a moment, if you will: Is Bill Gates’ true value dependent on Microsoft alone? Will his true value or worth as a person diminish without Microsoft? What about Mark Zuckerberg? Is his true value dependent on Facebook alone? Will he become less of himself without Facebook?
What about the legendary Nelson Mandela? Is his true value as a person dependent absolutely on his position as a one-time South African President? Did he become any less of himself after he left office?
What about the highly esteemed Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and Bishop David Oyedepo? Are their values and worth based entirely and absolutely on their ministerial offices and positions as gospel preachers? Will they become any less important or valuable without those offices and positions? Certainly not!
The Foundation of True Value
Truly great and successful people know that their true value depends on something infinitely and eternally more important than their transient material and physical accomplishments or possessions. They know that their true value is in something that cannot be taken away from them—their inherent nature.
As a result, while they strive for the things others strive for, they are, at the same time, not threatened or swayed by the lack or loss of those things. They do not allow their temporary defeat or lack to define their value or worth.
They acknowledge that they are valuable because of their individual status and value as human beings, and not because of what they possess or do not possess. Their true value is hidden within the very fabric of their unique human nature.
Loving Others Begins With Loving Yourself
Consequently, they transmit this same mentality to their dealings with others. Because they know that they are valuable with or without the material or physical possessions and accomplishments of life, they do not treat others based on what they have or do not have, but based on the content of their human nature.
This was why the great, impactful and influential Martin Luther King Jr. declared in his public address that he envisioned a day in which people would be judged or assessed, not by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their spirit.
Truly great and successful people acknowledge and uphold the value of every human being. They understand that there is great value in every human being, regardless of the physical or material realities of their lives.
They do not value or rate others based on what they have and do not have, or by their accomplishments in life. And this is simply because they themselves are firmly established in their value and worth as human beings, and they also understand that every human being is equally valuable and important.
The Mirror of Self-Perception
You will agree with me that the measure to which a person loves, values, accepts and respects or honours others is determined by the measure to which he loves, values, accepts and respects or honours himself.
A tyrant is so because he is like that inwardly. He is also suffering at his own hands because he cannot love himself. And because he can't love or accept himself, he can't love or accept others.