I can no longer afford the little things that make me happy it seems. The world is burning, Nigeria especially and it makes me wonder where we are headed as a society. As a young person, i have been told countless times that these are the best years of my life but that couldn't possibly be true when i can barely afford the things i want and the future seems so bleak in comparison to how things used to be. We are currently suffering the adverse effects of a shitty government and a direct consequence of the COVID 19 pandemic. A pandemic that changed things drastically, much more than we are all willing to admit. 

There is an intense need to always be doing something that can make you money. Hobbies that used to spark joy and were used for leisure have now become an avenue to make a few bucks as a side hustle. Rest no longer exists in the places it used to and if you tell someone you can do something really well the first thing they ask you is "why aren't you making money off this?"  We are all in survival mode and at the same time trying to find the best ways to stay alive. For most young people, escaping it seems like the best option. We didn't create this system so why should we have to be the ones to suffer it? We escape through drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, gaming, porn, food delivery, shopping addictions which we can barely afford and other feel good methods that we are in denial about 

The age of indulgence as it's characterized by Dr Lembke, author of "Dopamine nation" ties largely into capitalism and consumerism as we have everything we've ever wanted at our fingertips which is a good and largely bad thing. At face value it seems amazing but there are a lot of scary downsides one being that self control and self discipline is a lost art. There are so many options and ways to avoid pain: scrolling through social media for hours on end, ordering your favorite meal and getting it delivered within minutes. Delayed gratification is ceasing to exist and this is alongside the drastic increase of the prices of these goods and services. It's either you buy it at a certain price now or risk buying it twice the price a couple of weeks later which is absolutely jarring when you think about it which is why no one likes to think about it, hence, the escapism.  A seemingly never ending cycle.

On top of being an extremely capitalist society, we are also quite elitist. Little luxuries are no longer seen as luxuries when you do not have the big ones. Of course, we all want the good life but it's no one's fault if they can't afford it given the current state of things. There are hardly any jobs and people can barely afford a meal a day. That's how society works though and social media helps push the illusion of having more things than you need and other people living a better life than you are. Granted, some people actually do have it like that but most of us don't and that is the harsh reality of the situation.

I see a lot of people talk about discipline and self control referencing early psychologists and philosophers like Socrates and Plato. While their teachings are profound and really helpful all round, they have never had to live in the modern day 21st century world. Some of the rules are different and do not apply. Not being able to afford the things i want hurts me deeply but i have to stop and ask myself "Do i really need these things or am i just trying to get it because i saw it on social media which calls for a deep introspection" Merely scrolling on the internet, i could come across a 100 things i feel like i need; a new outfit for an upcoming event, food, lip gloss, wigs, hair, and the prices being exorbitant drives me into a deeper depression because i feel like i need it. Upon closer inspection of my needs and wants and sitting with myself, i kind of  realize i don't necessarily need all these things, i just want to have them because it makes me feel good and the state of the world is a huge mess right now. People need whatever little happiness they can hold on to even if that means buying very frivolous things at ridiculous amounts. What else are they going to do ? 

The rate of depression at the moment is scary. There is a mental health epidemic happening at the moment which is a direct reflection of the after effects of the Covid 19 pandemic and the state of the economy. Four years after Covid and the complications from it are still piling up. We have no idea where we are headed as a society and therapy, healthy coping mechanisms and community is needed now more than ever to take care of ourselves and repair before we experience total burnout. Capitalism has made us believe that we aren't worthy if we aren't producing anything, if we are at rest. That is not to say that work should be neglected but you should also prioritize yourself. These are the things helping me stay afloat and also being kinder to myself than necessary. Prayer and talking to a higher power also keeps me grounded. At the end of each day, even after I've run far away trying to figure things out on my own i have to tell God " okay, let's talk now, i really need you to help me. "

#AMAKACohortFeb2024