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Childfree' differs from childless\u2014 \u201cChildlessness\u201d is when an individual or couple desires to have children, but cannot, usually for medical reasons. \u201cChildfree\u201d is when an individual or couple, for various reasons, chooses not to have children.<\/h5>
The term childfree has gained popularity in recent years and has spawned many discussions in media and online spaces. Where a childfree life is applauded in some Western societies, the word and lifestyle is not as commonly accepted in certain African societies\u2014 most especially in Nigeria. <\/p>

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Do individuals and couples have the social agency to be childfree in this most populous African nation? For the women who are courageous enough to pursue this modern course, what responses have they received from society? The following accounts are the experiences of different Nigerian women\u2014 from talk shows, interviews and online forums\u2014 on their decisions to live a childfree life.
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The significance of the name<\/h3>
A Nigerian woman will encounter many hurdles should she choose a childfree life. One reason is because of the immense emphasis Nigerians place on names. \u201cIn our traditional societies and the rural areas, there is pressure for men and their wives to make sure that the family name is passed on,\u201d says Sandra Ezekwesili, journalist and radio presenter with 99.3<\/span> <\/b>Nigeria Info FM.<\/span>
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In her weekly show <\/span>The Glass Ceiling<\/i><\/a> <\/i>she added, \u201cThis name thing is a big part because it stems from the fact that you must have your biological child.<\/span><\/p>

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\u201dTo highlight the importance of one\u2019s biological child, Ezekwesili reveals, \u201cGrandparents or uncles will tell you that it is a bad thing for a man\u2019s wealth to be collected by strangers, so people sneak into baby factories so that they can pass on the child from the baby factory as their biological child.\u201d The radio presenter confirms, \u201cmen are raised to expect that they will pass on their name.\u201d By that standard, such a notion would negatively impact a couple that chooses to be childfree.<\/span>
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A woman's position in her home.<\/h3>
Another obstacle a childfree life would bring on a woman is the uncertainty of her position in her matrimonial home. \u201cWhen a woman has a child, it secures her position in her matrimonial home. So before having a child, there is a risk of a woman being kicked out by her husband or his relatives\u201d says Ezekwesili.<\/span>
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In an interview with BBC Africa<\/i>\u2019s Bola Mosuro, market-goers in Abuja, Nigeria voice their views on the subject Is being childless a taboo in Africa?<\/i><\/a> <\/i>One female respondent who will be called Woman A due to her name being undisclosed said, \u201cIt\u2019s an African thing; if you don\u2019t have a child you are not complete. That is evidence of womanhood for them.\u201d
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Such statements show that in Nigeria and many other parts of Africa, having a child is a symbol of womanhood and completeness. The African stance is that a woman\u2019s purpose in marriage is to produce children for her husband and not doing so puts her position at stake.<\/p>

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The importance of a male child.<\/h3>
Yet, in Nigeria, a woman does not only have to bear children. There is a long-established tradition for married couples to produce male children, specifically. The two main reasons are that families want to ensure that the man\u2019s blood relative inherits his property when he dies, and secondly, his name does not die.<\/span><\/p>

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Archie, who participated on The Glass Ceiling <\/i>through a telephone call stated, \u201cif madam does not have a male child, her say in her husband\u2019s house is limited, her say in her husband\u2019s inheritance is limited. Wealth has a very big part to play.\u201d<\/p>

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Regarding this matter, Woman A<\/span> <\/b>commented, \u201cin fact, if you have girls and you don\u2019t have a boy, you are still not a complete woman so in that situation they see it as somebody who can carry on their name, who can take over the family inheritance.\u201d<\/span><\/p>

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Women face immense pressure in Nigeria as their womanhood is defined by both their reproductivity and gender of their children. How did this notion come about? And why do African societies determine a woman\u2019s success by the fruits of her womb?<\/p><\/p>
Tradition, Religion and Social Constructs <\/h3>
A female respondent on telephone whose name was unidentified on <\/span>The Glass Ceiling <\/i>claimed, \u201cthe tradition of \u2018I want to see an extension of myself\u2019\u2014 it\u2019s more of a traditional construct.\u201d<\/span> <\/span>
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There could be some truth in this. The decision to have children could be a social construct\u2014 a life milestone created by the society that every woman needs to strive to excel in.<\/p>

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Ezekwesili said, \u201ca couple get married, we are happy for them, but what do we all say comes next? Children. Even at the wedding, people are already wishing many happy children. As a society, we see having children as an accomplishment... having children is not just an accomplishment, it is a milestone and everybody is expected to cross it.\u201d <\/span><\/p>

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Having children is arguably a social construct that all married couples are expected to attain from the moment they say \u201cI do.\u201dReligious views put further pressure on women. Ezekwesili adds, \u201cPeople see children as a sign of God\u2019s blessings. Having children is seen as God\u2019s will... When a couple has children, their family members celebrate, their parents have become grandparents and this is also an accomplishment for them.\u201d <\/p>

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The Pride and Joy of grandchildren <\/h3>
The radio presenter went on to say:<\/span><\/p>

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\"A woman\u2019s mother might say, \u2018all my friends have gone to <\/span>omugwo.<\/i> When will I come for my own?\u2019 <\/span>
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Omugwo<\/i> is the Igbo term for the traditional custom of postpartum care, in which the mother, mother in law or close female relative is appointed to host and take care of the new mother and baby. <\/span><\/p>

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\u201cPeople count their grandchildren in the same way they count their children\u2019s degrees and their children\u2019s certificates. A lot of young people who have not yet got married or who are married but who are not yet ready to have children are saying that the expectation from their parents is too much. I've heard young women tell me that when they see incoming calls from their mothers, they are afraid of the conversation they are about to have. They are afraid that the talk will reach the subject of marriage and children and yet again, they would be made to feel that they are disappointing their parents.\u201d<\/span> Sadly, many young women feel pressure to have children in order to satisfy their parents. <\/span><\/p>

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Woman B, one of the market-goers in Abuja whose name was also undisclosed in the interview Is being childless a taboo in Africa?<\/i> responded, \u201cIn Nigeria and Africa in general, children matter a lot to families. When it comes to couples that don\u2019t have children, they face a lot of stigmatisation from families, friends who look down on them simply because they don\u2019t have a child.\u201d<\/p>

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The in-laws will interrogate the wife asking her why she hasn\u2019t yet given birth. They may even throw insults at her and label her barren. It is often the woman who gets the blame and faces the consequences.\u201d<\/p><\/p>
The Community's Response<\/h3>
What about the wider society? <\/span>Woman B <\/b>revealed, \u201cDepending on the environment where they live, they cannot easily correct other people\u2019s children. Once they do that, they will say \u201cgo and have your own so that you correct, leave my child alone.\u201d<\/span> <\/span>
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In an online discussion<\/a> encouraging childfree women to speak out, the women preferred to have their identity concealed due to the sensitive nature of the topic. One participant related, \u201cFolks have been praying for us and suggesting one man of God to another, one doctor to another,\u201d says Ms B\u2026 \u201cWe are working on leaving Nigeria soon so we can have some peace.\u201d.<\/p>

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Ms. E relates, saying, \u201cwhen I tell my friends I'm childfree they look at me like I'm a monster. I told my parents when I was 25 I'd never have kids and they stopped speaking to me for a year. It has affected my relationships in so many ways. A lot of men want kids so whenever I mention I'm childfree, it\u2019s bye-bye.\u201d<\/p>

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Ms. F joined, saying, \u201cpeople always say \u2018God forbid\u2019 like it\u2019s a crime or an abomination.\u201d<\/p>

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The responses from these women speak volumes about society\u2019s negative responses to childfree women. Choosing a childfree life in Nigeria, whether as a single or a married woman, creates more social and cultural obstacles for one to overcome. Whether a woman has a child or not, she should be valued for her individual qualities, skills, and talents.What would the world be like if other facets of womanhood were celebrated?
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