You know that song by our Cameroonian American sister Libianca that goes… I've been drinking more alcohol for the past five days…did you check on me? Now, did you look for me? I love the People title because people will surprise and disappoint you in one breath. 

The following line, "I walked into the room, eyes were red, and I didn't smoke banga, did you check on me? As a Mental Health & Wellness advocate, I thought, “Well, especially if they smoke banga, even more reason to check on them," as I continued to listen to the song and reflect on my journey. And then Ayra Starr dropped on the remix. Her energy on the track reminded me of the college moments while I was grieving my grandfather; the party started as soon as I walked in- You haven't partied until you have partied with grief. Click here for the full song especially if you have never heard it.

The more I listened and related to the song, the more "Did you check on me?” stood out. One of the most important things that helped me on my wellness journey was when I started holding myself accountable for my check-ins. The moment I knew that I needed support or a hug, I learned to give my friends a heads-up when they needed to check on me, and I, too, extended that space to them. 

During that process, I faced some feedback from older African relatives along the lines of "You sound very American" Still, I then realized that their generation has its process ( a conversation for another day), but the truth is, people are often dancing with their demons and may not notice the subtle SOS signals. 

I find strength in asking for help. Not only is it a sign of self-awareness, but asking for help can also strengthen a relationship because it makes others feel needed and valued. 

This is not an attack on the song. It is a beautiful song and very real which reminded me of how life-saving it can be to ask for help when you need it, whether you smoke banga or not. 

• You deserve to be supported
• You deserve to be protected 
• You should ask for help and look for resources to help you improve instead of waiting for them. 

Is it hard or easy for you to ask for help? Let me know. Let's heal together!

We can start with music.