By Nthabiseng Makhokha

There is a plethora of information on the web about psychology, particularly on mental and emotional abuse and trauma.

These appear to be topics that are easily digestible and can be taken in bite sizes, hence the myriad of aficionados on Tik Tok, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I’ve gone down many rabbit holes myself with the psychological advice dished out on social media – the algorithm certainly didn’t try to stop me. I’d be up at 3am scrolling through all the information that came up about the same topic, corroborating what I was being fed and justifying my irritation about an incident that took place earlier that day.

It became overwhelming, because where does it end, where do I stop? I have since deleted TikTok and become a bit wary of what I consume to protect myself from misinformation. While some posts can be helpful and enlightening, others are misleading.

True to my curious nature, as I came across different terms, I would do my own research (I still do) to try and better understand what literature and experts have to say, how these terms were coined and for how long they’ve been around. For example, the term ‘gaslighting’, which was derived from a British stage play called Gas Light in 1938.

In the play, the protagonist's husband led her to believe she was losing her mind. The husband would use the gas lights in the flat upstairs and dim them. When the wife asked about this later on, he would lie and flatly deny it, influencing her to believe she’s imagining it all – a main attribute of gaslighting.  

While most of these verbs and nouns were coined long ago, it seems the popularity of social media has given rise to the currency of this psychology lexicon. One of the pathways that being exposed to all this information lead me down on is the one about trauma and how it manifests itself.

While it’s important to pinpoint an abuser, it’s also important to understand why those who are abused sometimes tolerate it. I feel that it’s often easier to stand from a judgemental point of view, not realising that trauma may be the bond between the abuser and abused.

The web and social media have piqued my interest in neuroscience, which I believe led me to the following find. I was at a bookstore recently and without giving it much thought, I picked up a book by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry titled, “What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing,” and paid for it. It seemed everyone on social media was regurgitating the same thing, ‘so maybe this book will help give me a more congruent and solid perspective’, I decided.

I got home and the first chapter blew my mind. I immediately shared this on my status and encouraged anyone who’s experienced trauma at any given point in their life to read the book. I explained that it was going to help them understand how their experiences affected them and others who have experienced trauma.

I’m grateful I stumbled upon the book as it has not only given me a much deeper understanding of my own trauma, but also on how trauma affects the brain and why people who are labelled ‘druggie’, ‘alcoholic’ and ‘jezebel’ behave the way they do. I look at people who are impulsive and are deemed ‘misfits’ in a different way than I used to.  

For me, it’s not just about a term being thrown out on the net and having everyone else copy, paste and vilify people suffering from it. It’s about reading and adopting an intellectual and empathetic approach that removes shame, negativity, and fear from the equation.

While I’m against any form of abuse, I also encourage responsible consumption of information on social media. The internet is a never-ending maze of snippets of information that are not backed up by enough context.

It’s true that the internet has changed a lot of lives and given many an opportunity to shine, however, reading is still the best source for comprehensive information proven by science and research. 

My concern is that during the process of healing and empowering ourselves, we may be arming ourselves with half-truths that divide and isolate us.

Picking up a book is still the best way to not only help you gain knowledge on certain topics and areas of expertise, but it has also been found to reduce stress and improve relaxation.