Whether it is the relationship you have with your partner, friends, colleagues or family, having your own money influences the dynamics of your relationships. Some may not agree but this much is true.
Introduction
For centuries, money has been an added advantage to life's vanities as it affords one the luxury of buying power or the scale of preference ladder.
Many may view money as the root of all evil but it cannot be overlooked because money is an errand tool. In this blog, we will be examining how this errand tool or root of all evil influences the dynamics of relationships and an individual’s self-esteem.
What is money?
Money has taken many forms in history and it has been described as an eagle that can fly away: Proverbs 23:5: "For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven".
While money may have wings, it chooses where to nest and you need to build capacity for when it sits on the roof of your house.
The importance of money
The importance of money cannot be overemphasized. You need it to sustain your daily needs and wants such as transportation, feeding, clothing and whatever else money is used for. As much as money is required for these necessities, it still remains pivotal in the survival of any human such that even the Bible noted “I wish above all things that you may prosper…- 3 John 1:2.”
Money is important as it is important for survival and building wealth.
How does money affect relationships?
Whether it is the relationship you have with your partner, friends, colleagues or family, having your own money influences the dynamics of your relationships.
Have you ever wanted to buy pads but had no money so you asked your mom to help you but she gave you the side-eye because as a twenty year old, you ought to be able to buy yourself pads?
If you have been in that position, how did it feel? Were you bitter or did it make you want to make money to afford your basic necessities?
I guess it may have made you feel some type of way.
Let me share a story.
A woman, who we will be calling Joy for the purpose of this story, wanted to learn a skill as a shoemaker and she told her husband. Her husband frowned against it and refused to support her because he did not think it was something she should do.
This made Joy sad but she did not give up. She sought something else and this time, she settled for copywriting so she told her husband and he debunked the idea. He told her he had no money to pay for it.
Joy's hope of acquiring a skill was dashed.
During a heated argument weeks later, her husband revealed to her that he had the money to pay but did not think it worthy because it was a useless skill just like the one before it.
You can imagine how she felt. She moped around for days even after he apologized and suggested she opt for catering as it was something he thought she would be good at.
What you should first note here is that Joy was a wife without her own source of income and she was solely dependent on her husband. This in turn affected her choice of livelihood as she was unable to fund her career choice.
This is what it feels like to be broke. It feels like you have the capacity to do more but you are limited because you don't have the money to get by. You tend to accept mediocre treatment or accept anything just to get by and that is not the will of God for you.
In Ecclesiastes 3:13, we are told that “God's gift to man is that he should eat the fruits of his labour” but you need to be doing something to enjoy the fruits from that labour.
This is why having your own money is important. It saves you from some sort of ‘see-finish’ like Nigerians say. See-finish is a state of absolute vulnerability, in this case, vulnerability caused by poverty.
You must have heard this saying (paraphrased), “When a man is broke, you don't truly know him but when he has money, you meet his true character”. It happens everyday and you may have witnessed one.
You don't know people (even yourself) till they (you) have money because poverty creates fake humility in people.
In relationships, money plays a role in how love is shown, perceived or accepted. It may be romantic relationships, among siblings or friends and even with parents.
You need to make your own money to be able to choose what you want to do, who you want to be, the friends to keep and what you want out of life.
Why is it important to have your own money?
I met a young lady recently who I spoke to about a business opportunity. She was excited and ready to take the bull by the horn. When I called her a few days later, she sounded unsure of herself. When I probed further, I realized her boyfriend refused to support her business.
This made me remember Joy's story.
Having your own money gives you the liberty of choice. It allows you to know and actually see yourself. It determines if you are confident or arrogant.
In this girl's situation, she had nothing going on for herself except her boyfriend gives her a ‘go ahead’.
The dynamics of having your own money in relation to your self-love and esteem
No matter what anyone says, there is this level of confidence when you walk into a restaurant and whip out your card to pay without minding the balance. That is a type of high, you know?
This is what financial liberation does for you. It builds your confidence and fattens your self-esteem. You don't have to frown after going out with the girls or maintain steeze when you know you are losing composure from your account.
Having your own money allows you to bask in self-love and awareness without having to always be mindful about your spending capacity or what people will say.
The importance of having various streams of income
It is not enough to say, “have your own money” because there are times you won't have it, but it is exponential that you have various streams of income to grow wealth because “A wise man builds wealth for his children.”
Things are getting more and more expensive daily and you need to be financially and emotionally prepared for whatever life throws at you. In this era we live in, being a doctor or a lawyer is not enough of a source of income. You need to diversify your income like tentacles.
Below are some business ideas or side hustles to build wealth 👇🏽
- Real estate
- Buy progressive shares or bitcoins
- Invest in legitimate businesses
- Learn a skill or handwork
- Network marketing
- Invest in your mind by reading books on business, communication or whatever you think will help your mindset.
Conclusion
The world is evolving daily and times are changing. You cannot afford to be broke consistently or call people for help everyday. Some will help when you call, but for how long? You have to take a step today and don't hold back even if it means doing it afraid.
Take that bold step today so that tomorrow when you look back, you will be proud of yourself. Remember, having your own money changes the dynamics of your relationships and how you are perceived. To get started on your smart financial journey, see here.