Peace. Something that I have struggled to manage mainly because I had no idea how to tangibly gauge it. In my culture, people often shout “they won’t have peace until____,” or “now she can have peace,” it often seemed like an abstract concept or achievement. 

As someone who grew up seeing many Nollywood movies play out before eyes, I just couldn’t imagine a life without some semblance of uproar. 

During a meeting earlier this year, we all had to go around and mention new things in our lives and someone in the group stated “I live a peaceful life, so not much happens.” Those word stuck with me because the truth—to me now—is that peace actually is what I always thought was “boring”. Being able to go through life with a “knowing” that all is well without striving often felt..boring.

I complained to my therapist once that “nothing is going on”, she laughed and said “Eyek, that’s what peace feels like.”

 Settling into the “boring” is  a challenge at first. The first few weeks of having “quiet time” were hard, as I realized that I filled my time with distractions to avoid having to sit in silence. Praying, reading the Bible, and listening to comforting music became easier, and even when I felt like I had to sit on my hands to avoid grabbing my phone, it began to just feel, more..”right”. Not having to have to the last word even when I was wrong (a rare occurrence, to be honest), became less of a priority. The hardest part was shutting down “tea”, though. Apparently minding your own business has its perks. Who would have thought? I started focusing on my “why” more, shutting down the obsession with validation that made me stay in places that were actually in opposition of my growth. 

 These I’ve realized are the small  evidences of this newfound boring-I mean peaceful life and I 10/10 recommend.