What’s your definition of 'weak,' and why is it almost always associated with vulnerability? Don’t worry, as I’m writing this, I’m asking myself the same questions.

Vulnerability is a buzzword - one that should be readily welcomed, but first let’s break down why it's so feared. In conversation with friends and through personal reflection, I can see that there is a heavy fear of rejection that many people struggle with generally, but when it comes to opening up, this can be heightened. Thoughts such as 'I don’t want to scare them away,' or 'what if they use it against me' can often stop us from making dents in our close relationships. If we are being honest with ourselves, many instances have been rooted in oversharing, trauma-bonding, or trying to appear 'relatable.' Too harsh? Remember, I’m dragging myself too.

What’s the big deal about vulnerability? Why does it matter? Being able to offload your struggles, pains, and even excitements with trusted people reminds you that you’re not alone and, in many cases, builds deeper connections and, despite what may be said, craving deep, close connections is normal and completely healthy.

Here are a few steps that have helped me with my challenges with vulnerability. First and foremost, I have realized that honesty about my needs, wants, struggles is best - specifically being honest with myself before I can be open with those around me.

I have also incorporated a 'boundaries, not walls' system that has allowed me to manage who I tell what and how much, based on the state of our relationship. Don’t tell the world; tell the people in your world. It makes a huge difference. I am a person of faith; I believe in prayer - connecting with God and telling Him when things are hard, when they’re easy, when I’m confused, and it has allowed me to open up myself and drop the 'Iron Lady' trope significantly.

Try this today: think about what made you fear vulnerability. Think about the situation and people involved. Feel all of the emotions, and when you’re done, make a daily effort to resolve to not let that hinder you from your much-due freedom. Is it easy? Far from it. Is it worth it? Absolutely.