There are times in life when we look at another person’s journey and think, “That’s the path I should take”. Their success appears to glow like a distant star, guiding us, and tugging us in the same direction. We borrow their dreams, their ambitions, believing that walking their path would result in the same successful outcome. But too often, we forget that admiration does not equal passion, and what looks like success is not always constructed on the same basis that we require. Perhaps in 2025, we’ll be able to put these borrowed dreams aside and distinguish between admiration and our own true ambitions.

Borrowed dreams are a subtle sort of mimicry caused by watching others succeed and believing that their path is the only way forward. It is the young woman who sees a friend succeeding in the corporate world and thinks, “I should do the same”. It is the young man who sees a friend from school building a business and thinks, “That must be my calling”. We most times admire what other people have accomplished, but in doing so, we mistake admiration for passion. What we consider success may not be what we truly desire, and dreams we borrow often lack the persistence needed to bring them to fruition. 

For me, the journey of understanding borrowed dreams began during my period at NYSC in 2023. At the time, I found myself getting drawn to software engineering, largely because I was surrounded by experts in the field. I saw them come up with new solutions and make “cool” stuff and I thought to myself, why not me? The initial thrill was palpable. However, as I dove deeper, I soon realized that enthusiasm alone was not enough to sustain me. The dream wasn’t mine to begin with; it was borrowed. I let it go, realizing that what drives achievement is not simply admiration, but perseverance and unflinching dedication to something that truly reflects who we are. 

This pattern is prevalent- especially in a world that increasingly values appearances over substance. Social media amplifies the lives of the successful, providing a window to their world. However, these peeks are often controlled, revealing only the highlights while keeping the struggles and set-backs in the background. It is easy to mistake these polished pictures for the true reality of success. What we do not see are the late nights, the disappointments, the perseverance and the unwavering pursuit of a dream. What we see instead are the rewards, the triumphs- the outcome. 

The problem with borrowing dreams is that we do so without considering whether they align with our true selves. Too often, we feel compelled to follow in the footsteps of others, assuming that their success is something we can replicate. But success is never a one-size-fits all journey. Each person’s desire is forged in their own fire, shaped by their unique experiences, passions, and resilience. Borrowed dreams on the other hand, are fragile. They lack the roots needed to withstand life’s inevitable storms. Without the persistence to nurture them, they might quickly fade away when faced with challenges. 

In Nigeria, where the pressure to succeed is immense, borrowed dreams often carry even more weight. The desire to “make it” is all-consuming, and for many, that means following the paths of those who have already reached the pinnacle of success—whether that’s in business, entertainment, or any other field. But the path is not always as clear-cut as it seems. While one person may thrive in a particular career, another may falter, unable to find fulfillment. The difference is not in talent or potential, but in the persistence to pursue a dream that truly resonates with who we are. Borrowing dreams is easy, but making them our own requires something much deeper: understanding, patience, and a willingness to invest in something we love, not something we think will bring us status or approval.

Admiration can be a beautiful thing, but when it is mistaken for passion, it leads to a futile chase. We begin to pursue what others have, not because we are actually interested in it, but because we want to experience their idea of success. But what if, in 2025, we decide to quit living for others? What if we took the time to fully understand our own hearts, our own desires, rather than following the paths of those who seem to have it all?

The truth is that true dreams require dedication. They are not built on fleeting admiration or a desire for quick results. They are fashioned by a strong grasp of what genuinely matters, by an enduring commitment to the process, no matter how long it takes. The dreams we borrow are often the ones, that are easiest to let go of when the road gets bumpy. But our own dreams- the ones steeped in passion- are the ones we fight for, the ones that keep us going even when we face obstacles. 

2025 can be the year we stop mistaking admiration for passion. It can be the year we put down the borrowed dreams and start cultivating our own. This doesn’t mean abandoning ambition or giving up on success. It means taking the time to understand what success looks like for us, not for someone else. It means recognizing that the path to fulfillment is not a straight line but a winding road filled with challenges and growth. No longer would we chase after the successes of others; instead, we will create the success that is uniquely ours.