Deep in an underground tunnel beneath a Mesoamerican temple complex, my aura emerged. 

I stood beneath a shaft of light and raised and lowered my arms as though I was a flying eagle. Enrique, an attorney, tour guide, and trained shaman, spotted my aura. The resulting message was clear, and the outcome continues to unfold.

“Your aura is green," Enrique explained. "That means you are a healer. But it is far away from you. That means you are not using it.”

I am a healer but I am not using my gift. Similar to how I previously didn’t know the title ‘artist’ or ‘creative’ was applicable to me, I had a feeling that healing was innate to me, but I was unsure how to unlock it. Moments of awakening have delivered their signals, however I must step more fully into this identity to harness the gift. 

Observations of meditation and metaphysical contact were saving graces at critical moments in my life. I first was introduced to meditation at age 16, around the same time that journaling became part of my life. My high school English teacher, Mr. Spicer, began each class with the ringing of a singing bowl and an accompanying moment of meditation. 

"Focus on your breath," Mr. Spicer instructed. "Keep your attention trained on this breath, in through your nostrils and out through your lips. If you have an itch, resist the urge to scratch it. Simply take note of that itch, and watch how it goes away. If your mind wanders, as it naturally will, refocus upon your breath. Through this practice, you can make any moment sacred."

My newfound practices of meditation and journaling were essential during that turbulent year in my life. They fostered in me a grounded spirit of perseverance that laid the foundation for my future successes.

In my adulthood, my healing journey is directly correlated to my physical health. Numerous injuries due to sports and other modes of youthful exuberance have made maintaining my health imperative in my life.

I’ve suffered from chronic shoulder instability since I was 17. I’ve dislocated my shoulder almost ten times over the years, though I’ve lost count. A surgical repair during my teenage years later ruptured, requiring advanced surgery to correct the issue. In the aftermath, I most clearly experienced a metaphysical awakening for the first time.

While recovering from surgery, my physical body was shackled, seeking to rediscover itself in a new normal. Meanwhile, my mental faculties were blocked in a haze of opioid painkillers. One morning I awoke in a particular fog, swallowed in a chamber of pain within my newly altered shell. While my physical and mental states were incapacitated, my spiritual light flashed on.

I received a tap on the shoulder. It was my maternal grandmother, who had passed away before I was born. “Get up,” she told me. As I began to muster up the will to rise, more encouragement came. It was Martin Luther King Jr. there smiling at me, flanked by numerous unknown ancestors. They cheered me on to sit up and rise from my incapacitated state. With their support, I got up out of bed, and started down the road to recovery, opioid-free.

The story may sound bizarre, but in the moment it was certain. I had never before had such clear contact with the spiritual plane. Perhaps I was skeptical of such a concept at times, but from that moment forward it was undeniable. 

My metaphysical awareness further developed through various means including rituals of ancestral worship, consultation with alternative medicine practitioners, and workshops with Reiki healers. Journeys in psychedelia have further advanced this development of metaphysical awareness. This awareness is a gift that not all attain.

That gift has been there all along, but the challenge is to capture it. Understand that separation is natural. We all are broken people living in a broken world. I too am broken and crawling my way toward healing. 

Through reiki, I found the peace and power to face the things in my life with a new perspective. A confidence that all things are building for the better. 
I finally honored myself by doing something good for ME. The meditative space felt like home. As the instructor said, I'm a person who received it strongly. I know my spirit longs for such practices. It felt like church on Sunday after it was done. 
I released myself from regrets and found the insight to navigate life's challenges.The Sands of Time, Sunday August 14, 2022

What’s separating me from unlocking my gift? Perhaps it’s the machinations of the world and its vices which pull from all directions. Or maybe it’s the result of those nefarious -isms that dominate our world, including capitalism, as yet another meeting pulls me away from this draft.

What must I do? I return again to wisdom absorbed from my favorite album, Black Messiah by D’Angelo and the Vanguard: For one to heal the world, they must first heal themselves. Just as a tree grows and new life sprouts around it, so too can we heal ourselves and the world. 

“You need to spend more time with yourself. Get off your phone,” Enrique advised. “Take 5 minutes each day to meditate and return to yourself.”

You must say yes to yourself to find your way home. Lean into your innate gifts, for they are divinely bestowed upon you. It is your duty to unlock your gifts and share them with the world.

Continue to pour yourself into your writing practice, Alex. Deepen your practices of yoga and meditation. Heal your body and soul. By doing so, you amplify your inner light, and when you let your light shine, you give permission for others to do the same. 

You can save the world by saving yourself. 

Every hit with a choice that you can't decide?Direction left or right, mmmShut your mouth off and focus on what you feel insideSee y'alll know I'ma go with my vibe, uhYou won't believe all the things you have to sacrificeJust to get peace of mind, oh
D'Angelo & The Vanguard,  "Ain't That Easy", Black Messiah, 2014

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