A woman is calm, understanding, nurturing, caring, loving, warm... etc. A number of times we have become accustomed to hearing this, and at first glance, there seems to be nothing wrong with this. Even I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with any of this, at least not until I came across the term benevolent sexism.

As of now, sexism has two types: Hostile sexism and benevolent sexism. Hostile sexism is what we are probably used to associating sexism with. Its manifestation is overt and blatant; this is hostility, discrimination, and prejudice towards a particular gender. This form of sexism has been combatted in a number of societies around the world, and in some, it still holds large ground. On the other hand, the second type of sexism, benevolent sexism, is a more unstated type of sexism; they are attitudes and beliefs that, at first sight, appear positive and of good nature, but in the long term, they reinforce gender roles and promote gender inequality.

Unlike Hostile sexism, benevolent sexism is more positive; its instruments include praising and adoring the warm and nurturing nature of a woman. It claims that because of her supposed inherently affectionate nature, she is to be protected and provided for. She is seen as weak, but words like weak aren't used; rather, it uses more positive terms to justify its claims.

In African society, sexism affects both men and women, but in this article, we will focus primarily on the impact it has on women.

Still being held in some parts of African society, men are seen as the head and leaders of the family; they are the providers and protectors; women, on the other hand, are seen as the home caretakers and child bearers.

Early in their childhood, there is an inherent reliance on the male figures of the family, which later goes on to their future spouse, thus the need for some women to want financially wealthy men when in search of a partner, believing that part of a man's worth is in his ability to provide.

Because African society is a male-dominated space and benevolent sexism is the approach adopted to addressing the role of women in society, it becomes difficult for anyone who wants to stand up against this form of sexism. A common manifestation of this is that women who rebut ideas of benevolent sexism are met with hostile sexism, while women who adhere to this form of sexism are adored and praised. This,  in turn, allows women to find it comfortable to live within the shells of benevolent sexism, as they get appreciated and adored by society and also get bonuses such as provision, and because of its popularity in society, they might see no real reason to stand up against it.

So why stand up against it? Well, as much as benevolent sexism comes in a positive light, it also has several negative impacts on women. Examples would be that women who go through benevolent sexism at work are more likely to perform negatively, women who adopt benevolent sexism are more likely to overlook hostile sexism from male figures in their lives, women are also going to be less likely to further their education and career, and lower self-esteem is also likely in women in such societies. The list can go on and on.

Sometimes, because of how much we have become accustomed to certain beliefs and ideologies, we see their negative impact as normal, telling ourselves that it's just how life is. It's always hard to break a cycle that even the generations before us participated in, one that many of our family and friends take part in, but to ever see any progress for not just us but also our mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters. If we ever want to see a change for them, it has to start with us and what we tell ourselves, and with that, how we treat the women in our lives.

A society where women are empowered and confident in their sense of self is one where we all strive and grow in society, so let's work towards that.

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