To put up a front, also known as fronting, is an act of pretence. "To front", one must create a facade to conceal their true feelings. In the eponymous 2003 hit single "Frontin'" by Pharell Williams, Williams croons over a beat infused with The Neptune's magic: "I know that I'm carrying on, never mind if I'm showing off/ I was just Frontin' (you know I want ya babe)/I'm ready to bet it all unless you don't care at all/ but you know I want ya (you should stop frontin' babe)." In modern dating culture, how many times are we made to feign disinterest to win over a potential partner? With the pervasive mindset that the one who cares the least wins, wearing your heart on your sleeve is deemed undesirable.

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I often think about the current landscape we live in as an ongoing war on vulnerability which is decidedly anti-love. Love, not in the partnered romantic sense, but as a site of transformation characterised by "a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust", as the late Black feminist theorist bell hooks writes in her seminal text, All About Love. I think about this kind of love every day and believe it to be a core value of mine. The butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of love is exciting too though, so once I read the description of No Fronting's "crush" event in March, I was hooked. The Dice summary read:

"Crush will be an experience that encourages our guests to explore the spectrum of feelings of a heady crush. The intensity, the rush, the expectations, the hope. To go with the feelings that March brings, newness, excitement, spring, new life, this will be a night of radical positivity and hope. For one night only we are not down bad, but we're looking up. Invite someone you've got your eye on, a romantic interest or a person that you just want to vibe with. You never know what can come of a cheeky crush." 

"No Fronting Collective was brought to life through friendship, mutual admiration and artistry"

Held at the intimate venue of Peckham Audio in London, guests were greeted by a host with a tulip and a love book to share something to be shouted out during the party. I appreciated this moment of reflection and used it to think about the traits I admire in the friend I brought along with me to be read on stage and celebrated. Inside, the event was sweetly decorated with lollipops available on every countertop, an installation of soft and lush fabrics on stage, and a few semi-private rooms on the balcony if you needed a break or were looking to get to know someone one-on-one. Headlined by Kemi Lijadu (DJ Kem Kem) and Sophie Crystal, people slowly started to open up to familiar tunes and eventually, the dance floor was full. During the dancing, the hosts took to the stage to try and encourage guests to move past their shyness and give their tulips to a crush. It was hard to see in the dark, though, so I couldn't take them up on their suggestion but observed others give their flowers to friends or continue to hold onto them for themselves — love does come in many forms, after all.

Founded by a quartet of four young Nigerian women — Ayoade Bamgboye, Fadekemi Ogunsanya, Faridah Folawiyo, and Kemi lijadu — No Fronting Collective was brought to life through friendship, mutual admiration and artistry. The women became friends organically through shared interests and work, with an expression of frustration over the lack of spaces for authentic connections at a dinner one evening being the catalyst for their action.

Speaking to Folawiyo, she shares, "I remember when we first started talking, we were talking about all the different parties we would have and the themes of the parties and one of us was like, 'Okay, we need to have a party where there's just no fronting.' We didn't want any of this shit that we have to go through on a regular London night of it being 'clouty' and annoying and stuff that so were we like okay, 'No Fronting, Just Feelings'. So we just named our group chat that, thinking, "Okay, maybe this will stick?" She continues, asking, "I think the 'Just Feelings' thing, Fadekemi, that was you. Right?"  

"It just happened. I also think DJing is based on feelings. We knew that we wanted to take people on an emotional ride with our nights. So, that made perfect sense", Lijadu chimes in.

"Pretence is exhausting, and sometimes we just need a space with no fronting, just feelings"

Following the success of their inaugural event in Lagos at NOK last year, the team felt ready to showcase their vision in London. "The Lagos one was a lot more experimental. We had video projections, we had screenshots from our group chats and obscure memes that we found funny, and just interesting things going on throughout the party", Ogunsanya says. Coming out of the pandemic, the dwindling nightlife scene informed the collective's decision to throw parties, as well as a sexist incident one of the members (DJ Kem Kem) faced while DJing at a predominantly male club night. "I'm just so grateful because I felt really held. Because I also was having the transition of being creative full time, and I think that's a transition many of us have been going through in one way or the other, of really focusing and earning our sort of creative pursuits. And so forming this collective was also a way of holding that space for each other", she confides.

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Nightlife isn't often put in conversation with vulnerability, honesty, and holding space for one another, despite the immense act of trust dancing closely in the dark with strangers requires. I'm grateful to have experienced an intentionally curated night stemming from the love these four women have for each other and hope to cultivate in others. I look forward to a future where not just parties but modern romance can do away with acting like we don't care. Pretence is exhausting, and sometimes we just need a space with no fronting, just feelings.