1. Ifeoluwa

Sometime I wonder what exactly make people change.

Could it be because of their work? Lifestyle? What they passed through? The environment they grew up in? The friends they keep? Or just because they wanted to be someone different?

Even if it meant hurting your close friend in exchange for the love and acceptance of the most popular students in school?

That is something I wish I had the answer to.

I wish I knew what made my best friend, Angie suddenly turn against me and chose to hate me for no reason

I remember asking her why she hated me and detest me and here's her reply:

"Want to know why I hate you, fine, I'll tell you. You are so lovable, people just love you, you bring so much attraction to yourself and the thing is you don't even need to do anything to get so much attention" she said with that hate look directed at me.

"Even when I joined their group, they still talk about how good and amazing you are... Some will even condemn me for letting go of someone as amazing as you, you are just too good and it hurts me that I have to try so hard to be loved even by my own father" she cried.

"But you, you don't need to lift a finger, wherever you go, you are just likable and I have prayed... prayed so many times to GOD to give me at least one thing that you have that makes you so perfect and unique but he chose to just let me be this miserable and you more likable"

I was really shock hearing this from her. How can you think in this manner? My intentions towards her is clean and plain but she has been harboring this pain and hate for me this long.

I just wonder how she is coping and how she is feeling everytime.

"Look, we all are unique and perfectly made by GOD, there is a reason we all are different from each other so comparing yourself to the other person will do you no good" I tried to tell her.

"You are the one doing me no good, I would have wished death upon you but I am not evil, I just wish you were less likable and everyone can learn to love me"

"Being bitter will get you no where, you need to let go of your bitterness and learn to love, you attract what you possess" I tried telling her but the glare she threw my way, made me stop.

"You are the one making me bitter, that's why I let go of you, remember this. You and I will never be friends again forever" with that she turns around and left me in the field.

I was really hoping that she let go of that bitterness she carries before it consumes her and leave her empty.

"I'll keep praying for you Angie" I said to myself.

...

That was some years ago, we are in college now and I still avoided her not to further anger her and also I kept praying for her to heal and let go of that ache.

Then some months ago I heard she was rushed to the hospital after battling with a deadly disease for some time, I went to see her ignoring the fact that she might throw me out when she sees me but that wasn't the case when I got to her hospital room.

"I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you" she began when I sat close to her bed.

She was getting worse by the day and doesn't look good at all.

"We can talk after you get better so please take it easy" I told her but she disagreed.

"I might not be alive to have that talk so I better say it now. I know that I am pretty beat up and there is no way I will survive this, the pain is so much"

She whispered the last part and I got so worried and stood up to observe where she felt the pain.

"Where do you feel the pain? I will call the doctor now" I was about turning to leave but she stopped me.

"No, what I feel physically is little compared to what I feel emotionally" she said and my eyes tear up. "I know that if I die now, you will not cry or might even be happy then you'll do that your happy dance" she gave a short laugh then coughed.

"Why would you say that? You will not die and why would I be happy? You are still my friend" I told her truthfully.

No matter what she did to me in the past, I have forgiven her, she was just confused and had no direction. Her dad leaving and saying those hurtful words added to it.

"I am a bad friend, one who doesn't deserve someone as pure and kindhearted as you" she states and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Don't talk about dying, you will not die. You'll get better soon and we can go back as we used to be" I touched her cheek softly and smiled admist the tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I wish I could agree with you but I can't, there is nothing anyone could do to save me. I just want peace before I leave," she turned her head a bit to look at me.

"Will you help me? Help me find peace again" she was now crying and I couldn't help but let the sob I was keeping in out of my mouth.

I cried so hard and crouched close to the bed with my hands stifling the sobs.

I really thought I could keep it on but just the thought of her leaving this world makes me sad and I don't want that to happen, she doesn't have any hope that she'll survive this.

She wants to give in.

When I was able to stop the tears, I stood back up and took her frail looking hand in mine.

"You'll stay alive and have that peace you want" I managed to voice out even though I sounded hoarse.

"Thank you"

"Pour out your heart, tell me what bothers you truly and what made you so bitter" I said after a while of calming myself down.

She sighed then paused for a while before speaking out.

"You might have already known this but I have always wanted the love of my dad since I was a little girl. I craved for it every single time, asked my mum, asked anyone who might know him to tell me about him and how to find him" she said then closed her eyes and her brows furrowed.

I thought she was feeling some kind of pain and was about to ask when she opened them and continued.

"When I finally got to know him, it was a surreal moment for me and I was so pumped to meet with him but... he wasn't, he told me so many hurtful words and made me cry. He said that whoever said that I was special was lying to me and that I will never be who I am rather I will keep living under the shadows of people around me for the rest of my life" she shook her head.

"It hurt me so much that I wished I had died, I wished that something bad would happen to me so that I don't have to live with the pain his words brought to me" I listened to every words she spoke and I was angry at her dad for saying all those things to her.

It hurt me to see her in this state and I so wish there's something I could do to relieve her of the pain she was feeling.

By the time she told me all those, the doctors said it was time for her to get her evening treatment then she can rest.

I vividly remember what she said to me before I left.

"We will meet when the time comes, thank for the relief you made me feel, now I know I have an awesome friend" she smiled and I left.

It was in the midnight that I got the saddened news of her demise.

Although, I wished things were different and she didn't have to die or go through what her dad put her through but I guess there are a lot of circumstances that drives people to change towards you.

Angie, may your soul rest in peace.