Shh… Not a Word

I sat there frozen, my eyes fixated on my phone as I re-read the message displayed on the screen.

He knows

That alone made my heart beat so fast. How could he think I might have seen what happened by just passing by last night? I didn’t even tell the truth about the way I went through to get home. How would he even figure that out?

My heart pounded against my chest and I could feel the chills settling at the tip of my fingers. How do I escape this? Should I run away with my mum? Would he come after me if I did that?

I was so occupied with my thoughts that I didn’t realize my mum was talking to me. She shook my shoulders before I snapped out of my thinking bubble.

“Shey ko si?” her face held worry. The last thing I wanted her to do.

I tried to smile through the fear I was feeling. “be ni ma, I’m okay” I looked away from her and switched off my phone “I’m fine” I said more to myself.

…

I managed to get to work today and was glad I didn’t turn up sick because that’s how I feel now. Sick to my stomach and I can’t tell anyone why.

I constantly glanced over my shoulders to be sure no one was following from behind and would walk so fast. I avoided passing through Falenrin Street because I didn’t want to be reminded of a nightmare I was forced to experience.

I never asked to be a witness to a murder crime. I’m an only child and the only family my mum has. If I’m killed what happens to her? How would she cope with the grief?

I know for a fact she still hasn’t gotten over Dad’s death even though it’s been over a decade. She loves him that much. I don’t want to lose her neither do I want her to lose me. She’ll be so heartbroken if something bad happens to me.

Flashbacks of how worried my mum looked when I came home in the midnight looking like I saw a ghost. Which I did literally.

An aggressive shove took me out of my reverie.

I looked to see the offender and it was the office amebo, Ginika.

She had her usual scrutinizing look on her face as she watched mine. She can tell a lie by just looking at you and it makes me wonder why she didn’t just become a journalist, instead of wasting away her amebo talents.

“This one that you keep getting lost in thought, shey no problem?” I could hear the concern in her tone, but I couldn’t fully trust that.

She would do anything to get to be the first to break the news to you. Her amebo is on the top level.

I shook my head and went back to typing the memo I was asked to send to the boss before evening.

“No problem, Ginika” I said dryly. I know if I didn’t leave any room to talk, she’ll leave but I guess today is special.

“Are you sure?” there was uncertainty in her tone but I just didn’t want to open myself and my mum into more deep shit as we are now.

“Yes, have you called the people that were put in your care to check on this week?” I asked, wanting to change the subject badly.

She observed me for a moment then grunted a response before walking to her table.

I let out the air I didn’t know I held. I tried to even my breathing and give myself a pep talk so I don’t freak out again.

Pastor Richard’s visit today really caught me off guard and the text message and knowing the fact that the person he killed is Dayo. It isn’t settling well with me.

Dayo is a suitor since he had expressed in so many ways that he wanted to marry me but I kept declining because I didn’t like him the way he liked me. I didn’t want to go on dates with him, spend his money as Ginika had been advising me to do and make him think there’s something when there’s nothing.

I couldn’t concentrate properly at work so I told my boss I’d like to use my sick days because I wasn’t feeling too well. He knew about Dayo and how close we had been and thought that was the case, so instead of the usual ‘five days’ sick leave, he gave me two weeks off.

I was really grateful and left work immediately. I think I need that time away to think properly. Breathe properly too and just try to think of what I can do now that my life and my mum’s life are at stake.

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t feel the presence that was behind me or the hands that held my body while another covered my nose with a towel. I didn’t have the strength to fight because when I inhaled, whatever was on the towel over my nose made me dizzy and my body weak to move.

I tried to move my heavy head to look at who was carrying me at least before I passed out. A familiar face made my body freeze as fear slowly crept into my heart and darkness took over.