When it comes to human behavior, there's something peculiar that happens when we think violence might be in the air. People tend to be more respectful when they think there's a chance of getting some of their own medicine. I'm exploring this odd side of our psychology, and I am taking a closer look at misogyny as an example. You see, many guys can be quite rude to women, but you'll notice they switch gears when they're around other guys. Is it just built into their brains, or is there more to it?

Misogyny as a Case Study:

Misogyny, which is just a fancy word for not treating women right, shows us this behavior. Some guys talk down to women, and it's not just rare – it's everywhere, from your everyday chats to the workplace, to strangers you come across, just about anybody. They say demeaning words like “You are a woman, it is your husband I’ll talk to” “I have your type at home, so just shut up.” These statements are all too common especially when they are faced with accountability for their actions by a woman.

Why does this happen? Well, part of it is because they might not expect to face any backlash when they talk down to women, compared to when they do the same with other guys. It's like they're playing it safe. “She cannot beat me any way.”

But here's the thing, this isn't just harmless banter. Misogyny is a real problem, and it's affecting women and society in more ways than we realize. It's like a never-ending circle of inequality and harassment.

You know what's strange? A lot of people don't even realize they have these biases. It's only when you take a good look at yourself and the way you think that you start noticing them.

Casual Misogyny in Nigeria:

In Nigeria, casual misogyny is so common it's like a background noise. You can be sitting in a bus, and someone will casually comment, "Oh, it's a woman driving; that explains it" when the driver makes a driving mistake.

Women get the short end of the stick in many situations. They're talked down to by men they manage, service providers, Uber drivers – you name it. And the moment a guy shows up, the whole tone changes. "Let me talk to the man, man to man," they say. It's frustrating to be honest.

Real Life Experiences 

Some X users share their experiences after a tweet made by Okkevwe on how he has come to terms with his subtle misogynistic tendencies and now understands why women cry about it everyday.

Gozy Ranjo said “Reminds me of the time when my mother went to bail my brother and the court told her she could not, despite providing documents with her name. They told her she has to get a man, it doesn't matter who, it just has to be a man who has a document or should claim the owner of hers.”

Jowie_O shared “This!!!

Bolt guy was rude on the phone to my madam and ended the call on her.

I collected the phone and called him, as soon as he heard my voice he said “Good morning Sir” and his tone changed from a fighting tone to one who was offering a service”

Revellere also shared his experience in school “First time I experienced this was the day a lecturer was berating a female classmate for asking her a question he dubbed 'silly'. I was curious, and asked him the same question after his tirade. Lo and behold, he answered it calmly.

I thought about that incident for a long time.”

Gender Biases in Everyday Life:

It's not just about what's said; it's about how people are treated. Security guys greet the man, valet guys acknowledge the man, and waiters give all their attention to the man while ignoring the woman without having a clue who is likely to pay the bills. The worst part of is, some women are also guilty of this tendencies as well. 

The Need for Change:

So, here's the deal - this casual misogyny stuff, it's not just about venting or complaining. It's about realizing that these biases are real, and they're affecting people in ways we might not even notice. It's about recognizing that the way we treat others, especially based on their gender, can have serious consequences.

But it's not all doom and gloom. There's a simple truth: We can change. We can break this cycle and start treating everyone with the respect they deserve. It starts with each one of us, with a little self-awareness and a commitment to doing better.

The need for change isn't just a catchy slogan; it's a call to action. We can do better. It's time to step up, challenge those ingrained behaviors, and create a world where equality and respect aren't just ideals, but the everyday reality for everyone, regardless of their gender.