We have been having unprotected sex for months. I do always remind him that this might result in pregnancy but he waves it off by telling me that it won't since he uses the withdrawal method. He also suggested I always take pregnancy pills in order to avert that. I was not comfortable with this but I loved him and was not ready to lose him.  

I woke up one morning and was feeling extremely feverish, I had to tell him. He advised me to go see a doctor. I went to the hospital and the doctor suggested that some tests ought to be done before any treatment begins. The test results came out and I found out I was three weeks pregnant. I was confused, I took pills after our last sex, how come I am pregnant? This got me worried. I went home and waited patiently for him to come back so that I can break the news to him. He came back and I broke the news to him with excitement, hoping to get a smile and a peck on my chin, I got a slap. He was so angry that he almost pulled down the roof with his shouting. He lamented that he was not ready for this and asked me why I let it happen. I defended myself by letting him know I was not ready for it either. But it has happened and I am going to keep the baby. He became violent. He pulled my hair and instructed me to abort the baby. I struggled with my hair until he let go of it. At this point, I became so angry and I started outlining everything I have been enduring in our relationship. 

When Victor met me, we were friends for a while before he asked me out and I accepted. I let him know that I did not want sex in our relationship and he accepted. But he was curious to know why I did not desire to have sex. I told him my reasons but he tried convincing me of how sex was important. He ended up convincing me and also confusing me. My friends did not help the situation either. They advised me that there was nothing wrong with letting my partner have access to my body. I did not bother asking my mum because she has never given me her time or attention. I took their advice and started our relationship with sex. Deep down within me, I did not like this at all but I was not ready to say no to him either.  A voice in me will always suggest I build confidence and say no but another voice will remind me that saying no was of no use since I have eaten the forbidden fruit already. I chose the second voice and we continued our sexual relationship. Since we started having unprotected sex, I have been the one taking pills. To be sincere, I became afraid at some point because I thought something might go wrong knowing that pills are not hundred percent healthy/guaranteed.

I continued pouring out my heart to him. I let him know that I can do anything for him but hurting my baby is what I cannot do. He defended it by telling me that the baby is still a fetus and that aborting it now is safer. I let him know that he cannot deceive me again. He had done that the first time but he cannot do it again. I let him know that if he was not ready to be a father, why have unprotected sex? He defended himself and said that protection is not hundred percent guaranteed. This statement struck my head. I said to him, if using protection was not guaranteed, taking pills is not also guaranteed. I told  him that I am keeping the baby and that if he is not comfortable with it or ready to be part of the baby's life, he can leave and never come back. He packed his bags and left. 

I took it upon myself to work hard and train my child as a single parent. I gave birth and started training her. When she started talking, she always asked me about her father but I waved off the question. I gave her the best and ensured I played both a fatherly role and a motherly role in her life. Despite the love I showered on her, she did not stop asking me who her father is. But one thing I promised myself was that my daughter will not take the path I took in life. I advised her never to give in to sex before marriage (especially when she is not ready to become a mother) I let her know that abstinence was the best but even if she finds herself engaging in the act tomorrow, she should never have unprotected sex. I enlightened her that pregnancy was not the only consequence of having unprotected sex. I let her know of other consequences like STDs (Sexually transmitted diseases) and so on. I also advised her that pills after sex is not healthy. I also promised to tell her my story when she comes of age. 

I am happy to have started at an early stage to let her know of her body parts that ought not to be touched by the opposite sex. When she entered her adolescence, I enlightened her more. I ensured I told her all she needed to know about growth and sex in order to prevent her from making the same mistakes I made in life. 

She said to me, I will not disappoint you Mum neither will I bring shame to you. I will make you proud of me Mum. I was happy to get that assurance from her but I never gave up being part of her life and always being there for her. This was the relationship my mother never created with me but I made promises to myself to create it with my daughter. I cried and said to myself If I had a mother that gave me time and attention, I would not have taken certain decisions or even made certain mistakes. But it’s fine, I promised to get it right with my daughter.