Stepping out of the hospital with the doctor's result in one hand and tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt like my heart has been pierced with a sharp knife. 

I am HIV positive (I cried out loud). When I got home, I immediately went to take my bath. While bathing, I scrubbed my whole body as if I could see the virus physically. I cried so hard but I had to stop at some point. It is crystal clear that crying won't change the results. 

I started remembering how I jumped from one flashy car to the other, how I slept with different kinds of men for money. I did so many things back then In school just to be among the “top girls” in school. 

I did not come from a poor home nor did I lack anything. I had one weak point while growing up and that was a lack of “contentment”. I desired to have everything I wished for. My parents did their best to provide for me but I wanted more. 

My admission into the university was the best time for me to make all my dreams come through. I jumped from one bed to another. I slept with different men(both those that used protection and those that did not) To me, it did not matter, what I was more concerned about was to continue making money and keep trending in school as the “richest female student”. I made lots of money, toured the best countries in the world, and made connections. I never paused to give a deep thought to my lifestyle, I did not realize that I will someday live in school and all these things that mattered to me won't matter anymore. 

The friends I also kept were my type of person (no one to control or correct me) 

I am out of school, I came out with an awesome result but my past has come back to haunt me. My lack of contentment has brought me the worse virus ever. Yes, I can manage the situation but I will forever live on drugs.