I didn't know how many mistakes I made until Mother died. Sure people complained way before her demise because I let my hair be, refusing to cut it or plait it, and many other things. They complained because;
It was too bushy and I should lower it a bit (Dad).
I should make my hair so I can be more presentable, because I am a girl (Aunt).
I should make my hair because men usually like women with long hair, I am now at a marriageable age and my husband might be in the majority (Mother's classmates’ younger sister).
When I mentioned that it was my hair and I could do what I wanted with it without my husband’s (or anyone's) opinion, I was mocked for having a childish way of thinking and reminded that I would become my husband's, therefore, he had absolute control over my appearance.

I dressed too much like a boy, it would have even been better if I was born a boy because I was too tall to be a girl. My intimidating height might scare off my future husband (should I cut my legs off, Karen?).
Hell, my voice was too deep, I sang too loudly and it was noisy (Dad), I was too proud and disrespectful, I avoided responsibilities, I was too lazy, I smiled unnecessarily.
Nothing I hadn't heard before. It didn't matter because Mother let me get away with those things, they were not worth mentioning and I was perfect even though I got on her nerves.
But after her death, I had to go live with the said Mother's classmates’ younger sister and it was then I realized I was made up of more shortcomings than I knew (much more than I would mention).
The shorts I wore were unsightly because my legs were too long, my taste buds were dead, I was following Mother's footsteps and keeping a tight grip on the money she left behind, being neglectful of father just as she was, selling her properties and controlling the money.
A thousand ‘why didn't you tell me your mother was dead?’(s) and ‘why didn't you tell me as soon as it happened?’(s) later and I was ready to march to the morgue and wake Chief Dr. Mrs. right up and give her the phone to respond to them.
Long story summarized, I'm tired of walking on eggshells because of people Mother would have dealt with. And I'm even more tired because nothing is going to change the fact that she will forever be hugged by the earth.