#AMAKAxNewAfricanWoman

This essay is to remind all the beautiful women in the world, that just like men, they are allowed to have a history of partners too and they don’t have to remain in relationships that destroy them. Emulate the woman who cannot keep a man. Be their protegé!

Often, we see women like Lori Harvey, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, and so many others getting shamed for having a history of partners. Their inability to keep a man or maintain one partner for a subjective long period earns them snares, but I believe the opposite should be the case. They should be applauded, reverenced, and emulated.

Yes, I am approving the “badly behaved women”, the women who do not follow the status quo, the women who don’t “over mourn” relationships; the women who get into one relationship after the other without batting an eyelid, the women who have refused to be a man’s peace of mind while they admit that dating them is a “rollercoaster”, women who have been cautioned by their families that their attitude will cost them men, and, last but not least, women who will not take your rubbish. 

Have you ever asked yourself these questions “Why can’t I keep a man?”, “Why can’t I keep a relationship”, “What keeps a man wanting you”, “How do you keep one man?”. You most definitely should stick around as we dissect these phrases.

What does it mean to keep a man? 

I have noticed keeping a man is the most dishonest conversation that has ever been introduced in history. You can nurture a relationship, yes. But you most definitely cannot tie a person in chains and keep them. Men like who they like, they are not toddlers. 

I have noticed keeping a man is the most dishonest conversation that has ever been introduced in history. You can nurture a relationship, yes. But you most definitely cannot tie a person in chains and keep them. Men like who they like, they are not toddlers. You can not outcook a chef, you cannot be as good at sex as a sex worker, and you cannot clean better than a housekeeper. You simply can only be what you are. 

When you see a couple that has been together for a long time what comes to mind? Is it love? Is it tolerance? What party do you think is fueling the relationship? 

Most times a woman’s ability to stay in a long-term relationship is synonymous with her ability to condone a man’s terrible act. 

The submissive woman is the perfect model of who keeps a man. The woman who offers “peace of mind” 

Most times, this is a vague word to describe a subservient woman: a woman who holds no option, no opinion, doesn’t question them, and lets a man have his way every time, even when it harms her while cooking and massaging him at his beck and call. 

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Why should I emulate the women who can’t keep a man? 

Women who cannot keep men are usually women who know when it’s time to walk away from a relationship. They do not hold on to a man who no longer gives them any fulfillment or relationships that serve no purpose 

Women who cannot keep a man don’t tie themselves to inconsequential things. They exist for themselves. They don’t soften their voice remold themselves for a spouse or let something as stupid as body count determine when to move on and when not to

Women who cannot keep a man have solid identities outside their relationship. That is because they cultivate and foster everything around them and not just that romantic relationship 

Women “who cannot keep a man” are opinionated women. They live for their principles and they have a sense of direction. They know that just like men, they can truly live and be with whoever they desire. 

I am not telling you to not be benevolent to your spouses, to not take care of your spouse or to be a vile person. What I’m saying is that you can be kind and hold opinions, you can love and know when your love is not being reciprocated. You can leave a man that no longer loves you and move on to another without the unconscious belief that that makes you a whore. And even if it does, you will get called a whore regardless. 

It is crazy to see the amount of things that keep women in a relationship. You are human, allow yourself to live.