It’s hard to imagine or see a flock of only male birds with a lone female bird or a school of male fish with only one female fish migrating together so why do we think it's okay for a woman not to have any female friends?  



It seems like the patriarchy like it has done so many times creates a narrative to make women think that our friendships are not important. That they are accessories we can do without.It’s the same principle that applies to our interests. An article published in Elle Magazine discusses the phenomenon of men looking down on women’s interests.

Men look down on the color pink, Barbie and even BTS. Generally anything designed for teen girls and women is subpar and lacks quality. So when women want to pander to the male gaze and appear to be elevated or more intelligent according to male standards they avoid these things. Female friendships fall under the same category; Girls trips, sleep overs, friendship bracelets all of these are looked down on by men because they cater to women’s interests. 


That's why we often hear many women say things like “I prefer having only male friends” and “Women don’t know how to keep friendships, I'd rather be friends with men”.

This belief in the unimportance of female friendships also stems from how fragile the male ego is and how men and women have been socialized to hold the egos of men in high regard. If women have close female friends and a supportive community. What would men be useful for? Female friendships do not serve the male gaze in any way and that is why they are looked down on. 

However, they are crucial for the development of women. 

Recent research reveals that female friendships significantly benefit women's health over the long term. According to a landmark UCLA study, when women experience stress, their bodies release oxytocin, which helps buffer the fight-or-flight response and encourages them to seek social connections with other women. This finding suggests that women's responses to stress involve more than just fight or flight—they are often inclined towards tending to children and forming supportive friendships.

There are a lot of shows and movies portraying female friendships in mainstream Hollywood, but when we look at the Nigerian film industry the vastness of these stories greatly diminishes. There is a lack of this representation of positive empowering female friendships. It's hard to pick one show or movie where women are friends with each other without jealousy, an inevitable bitter rivalry or a traumatic event tying them together. There has been a gap in the portrayal of Nigerian women’s friendships. 

One show that attempts to fill this gap is “Beyond the Veil”. In the TV series released in 2023, we follow the lives of five Northern Nigerian Muslim women: Na’ima, Badriya, Hanifa, Zizi, and Suraya. Among them, Na’ima, Badriya, and Hanifa share a particularly close bond, with their social circles overlapping. While they interact frequently, their friendships often stay on the surface. For instance, despite occasional gatherings, they rarely provide deep emotional support to one another. 

This superficiality becomes apparent as Na’ima grapples with mental health challenges unknown to Hanifa and Badriya, and Hanifa faces marital struggles in silence. What the show does teach us is that female friendships are not a luxury. It might not paint the perfect picture of female friendships but we learn that they are incredibly important.

Female friendships have historically served as crucial sources of support against isolation, misogyny, and discrimination, nurturing confidence and providing a community beyond familial ties. The experiences of Hanifa, Na’ima, and Badriya underscore the importance of such relationships. Despite facing significant personal challenges, they seldom turn to each other for guidance or solace, reflecting a missed opportunity for mutual support.

In season 2, their unresolved issues deepen, particularly for Badriya, who becomes isolated by her husband, Sadiq, and Na’ima, who turns to drugs to manage her anxiety. Similarly, Zizi and Suraya, though family to Badriya, lack close friendships, highlighting the broader implications of isolation and the importance of supportive female bonds.

The narrative in "Beyond the Veil" challenges stereotypes about female friendships, suggesting that societal expectations often undermine these connections. By portraying the complexities and missed opportunities within these relationships, the series prompts reflection on the profound impact of female friendships on women's well-being and resilience.