There was a time when I was a “clothing police”. I was one of those “Dress for your body type” kind of people; those “People with big tummies, shouldn’t wear a crop top” type of people. (I’ve always had a big tummy).

There was the time when I thought that a grown man leaving with his parents was “weak” and “unfulfilled”.

There was also a time when I thought that women were to “emotional to lead”.

There was a time in my life where I thought that a guy painting his nails was problematic.

There was a time I thought guys should not do makeup.

In fact, throughout my life, I have had some very problematic beliefs and thought some very shameful thoughts. I’ve said things I’m not proud of and I’ve had mindsets that people who know me today, if they knew — those mindsets, would probably not believe it’s the same me.

These days I believe that you should wear whatever you are comfortable with. I don’t police people’s choice of clothes. I think a crop top on a big belly is normal.

I know now that many things can cause a grown man to live with his parents. I know that relying on someone as a man doesn’t make you less of a man.

I know that women are not too “emotional” to lead.

I know that painting nails and wearing makeup doesn’t have a gender.

They are fun ways of expressing oneself.

This might seem like a total 360° from my former self. But isn’t that what life is about? Changing our minds.

If you as a person don’t allow yourself to grow and evolve then…

despite how educated or well-meaning we think we are, our minds are works in progress, constantly in need of new knowledge and course correction.

There is a level of self awareness you will have, that you will know that the old you was nothing to write home about.

And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. We are all unlearning and relearning all the classist, toxic, sexist, ableist bullshit we’ve been conditioned to believe.

We are born into a world with a particular order and hierarchy. There is a way things are done. There are certain people that are allowed to be successful.

“Women can be ambitious but not too ambitious.”

“Black people can be successful but only within certain limits.”

“Disabled people must be geniuses and prodigies, or are they even disabled at all?”

And it takes conscious effort to say NO, to these harmful ways of thinking and instead, choose humanity.

It takes you being willing to do the work; having an open mind and being ready to admit that you were wrong.

I did it and I’m still doing it. I’m sure in a few years time, my mind would have changed on so many things. (for the better, of course)

Recognizing that I once held skewed perspectives opened me up to a powerful realization: despite how educated or well-meaning we think we are, our minds are works in progress, constantly in need of new knowledge and course-correction. Clinging to a fixed mindset, stuck in limiting preconceptions, only deprives us of further growth.

Why am I happy being a work in progress? Because growth feels good. Each new realization, each belief unlearned and replaced with empathy and understanding, is a step towards becoming a better person.

Being a work in progress means I am alive and engaged with the world around me. It means I’m continuously evolving, shedding old skins, and stepping into a more inclusive, compassionate self.

So yh. I love that I’m a draft, constantly being re-written and reviewed by life.