That fear of posting on your WhatsApp status or your Instagram story. That fear that people won’t like what you posted.

That fear that people will think you’re boring or stupid. That fear that prevents you from posting a picture of yourself that you like because you’re afraid of what people will think.

 Will they think that you don’t know how to take pictures? Will they think that your smile is too wide?

That fear that stops you from posting a meme you think is very funny because you feel that others may not think it’s funny.

I could go on and on and on, the list is endless. Anyone that feels all this is going through what I like to call posting anxiety.

Drawing from my personal experience, I know all too well the weight of these anxieties. You may have started reading this article because you’re hoping for a solution, you’re probably hoping to see that I no longer have posting anxiety.

 Ha! I wish. Although it’s not as strong as before I still do have posting anxiety. So, in this article I’m going to be talking about my journey with posting anxiety and how I’m getting better.

My personal experience When I was in high school, I used to look at the pictures of the popular kids in my class and compare them with my own pictures and as you likely guessed, my picture was always coming up short, never measuring up.

I used to view the memes and the jokes they posted on their WhatsApp status and think that my own meme could never be this funny.

Whenever I would hear them gossiping about some other person’s picture, laughing at how ugly the picture was, I used to feel a lump rising up in my throat, my eyes burning whilst thinking “this could be me”. I could be this person with the ugly pic or the boring WhatsApp status.

These popular kids would post pictures of themselves in one restaurant or the other, places that I could never afford.

And I remember thinking how interesting their status was, asking myself how I could ever compare with pictures I took at church or pictures I took at home.

Needless to say, all these constant comparisons did not do anything for my mental health and self-esteem.

However, it was not only these popular kids that aggravated my posting anxiety but also my friends.

 Though, not through any fault of theirs. I have always had this weird fear of disappointing those who are closest to me. It’s like I don’t want to distort their belief from the intelligent, studious and good girl that they see me as.

So, whenever I saw something that resonated with me but did not fit in with that standard of who my friends think I am, I would never post it.

I had quite a number of friends and each one of them saw me in their own unique way and as a result I was always thinking 'ah so and so thinks I hate social media and this meme is about the joys of social media' and of course I wouldn’t post it. I knew there was something wrong with my thought process. I knew that all my reasons for not posting were wrong and unfair to myself. My brain knew not my heart. And so I drowned myself in other people’s lives through my novels and in my studies.

How bookstagram gave me the courage to start posting inspite of my posting anxiety.

Bookstagram as we bookworms like to call it changed my life. Bookstagram refers to the bookish side of Instagram. That little corner that we bookworms have carved for ourselves. It’s been four months since I graduated from high school and opened an Instagram account. And bookstagram has already boosted my confidence and greatly reduced my posting anxiety.

I mean I’ve finally published an article after years of article writing.

The reason why bookstagram has worked for me is because books have always been a huge part of my life. I had never met another bookworm before bookstagram.

So, meeting people who understood me and my bookish ways really helped me to know that bookworms are cool people. Bookstagram introduced me to so many fun memes and inside jokes that only bookworms can understand.

Now, whenever I see a bookish quote, meme or joke that just gets me, I post it.

 Although, I still care what people think, it doesn’t stop me from posting because I have a fun, loving bookish family that just gets me. I don’t check how many views I have; I don’t even want to know. After all, ignorance is bliss.

The moral of the story

All I’m trying to say is that find a passion you can’t do without. An activity that makes up who you are. It may be singing, dancing, art, yoga, finance, learning, education etc.

Then connect with people that share your passion, your zeal for that topic or activity or way of life. If you don’t find your community, then start your own.

 I get that it’s kind of counter productive seeing as the whole point of why you’re reading this is to gain the courage to post. But it’ll surprise you the number of people that think like you. You can even search for websites that have your kind of people. Just like webtoons for comic lovers or Wattpad for readers and writers alike.

Go out there find your people and gain the confidence to start posting. You may never be a social butterfly and you may still have a little posting anxiety from time to time but that’s normal. It’s okay. Just take it one day at a time.

How it’s going

Of course, I’m still a long way away from how I want to be. I mean, I never post a picture that isn’t a hundred percent 'perfect’. I still compare myself to these popular kids but I’m starting to not fall short every single time. I’m starting to see that being bookish is not for 'ugly, boring people’.

 Occasionally when I see a post that resonates with a part of me that people don’t know I don’t post it. Occasionally. I’m just taking things one day at a time.

One and half years later

I published this article November 2021. And I’ve come a long way since then. I’ve started my feminist podcast and blog Feminist Inc. I won’t say I’m completely over posting anxiety, but the growth has been immense. In fact, if not that this article is proof of my past and I can compare it to my now I wouldn’t believe how much I’ve grown.

So, even if you’re very shy or you’re obsessed with what people think about you, you’ll get there. I promise.