Salami Islamiyat Oyinkansola

In a century that highlights and focuses on negative male role models and gives little to no attention and appreciation to the positive ones. It is in fact very necessary to dedicate a day to men who live up to the standard of being a "man."

International Men's Day was first celebrated on November 19, 1999. The day emphasises the six significant pillars: to promote positive role models, to celebrate the contribution that men make, to focus on men's health and wellbeing, to highlight discrimination against men and the inequalities that men and boys face, to improve gender relations and promote gender equality, and to create a safer world for everyone. 
The theme for 2024's International Men's Day is "positive male role models."
 
A positive male role model is a person who is worth being imitated; they play an essential role in the positive development of other men or women looking up to them. A positive male role model doesn't have to embody the qualities of the stereotypical man—strength, courage, independence, leadership, assertiveness, self-sufficiency, violence, dominance, and emotional toughness. It's really a never-ending list of toxic expectations. 

Being a man means rejecting toxic masculinity, which may result in backlash from society. "You are not man enough," "You don't act like a man," "You are too weak to be a man," etc. Daily, men are brought down with words and face discrimination in various forms. It's okay for a man to show weakness in situations that are too overbearing; it's okay to let others take lead when you're not up to the task; it's okay to ask for help when you feel like you can't handle it all on your own. A man can hate football, wrestling, and violence-related activities; it doesn't make him less of a man; it's okay to cry, to feel pain, and to show it. 

And still be a man.

SURVEY
Has there ever been a time when you got criticised for doing something outside the stereotypical box of being a man?

"I've faced criticism for doing things outside what's expected of men.
When I tell my  friends I don't play or watch football, they'd ask why. Some even joked that I must be a woman because I'm not interested. It felt like they thought I wasn't masculine enough. When they found out I enjoy cooking, and i cook so well they asked why I'm doing "women's work." It was frustrating because I wonder how cooking makes me a woman.
What hurt most is when I show emotions and my Friends say, "You're a man, don't cry." It made me feel like I had to hide my feelings."

"There was a club I tried to start in secondary school, where just guys who trust each other can sit with each other and be vulnerable. Talk about feelings; what's hurting and how we could help each other, but we didn't get the support of the school and turn out was pretty low cause it was deemed unnecessary by  teachers and students."

"I have gotten loads of criticism for doing things that have been societally termed as "un-manly" one of which is expressing my emotions. There is an aeon long idea of men being less expressive and adopting more endurance when it comes to issues regarding emotions."

"I think one of the things I do that might not appear to be manly in today’s society is how expressional I can be."

"You are too calm to be a man."

"I’ve been criticized by male friends a lot of times because of my non-involment in sexual activities.
It's my decision not to engage in sexual activities but when I speak about it, I get criticized."

Growing up I had this girlish attitude and I was direly criticized. I felt a little bit down, because even at that young age, I was passing through what I would refer to as hatred.

"When i openly spoke up about the general unconscious misogynistic attitude of men
and the banter was insane."

"Since secondary school, my surname has always been a casual form of address. Easily pronounce by all tribes... no one goes wrong pronouncing "Johnson" but they tackle me when they find out its my surname."

"When I was younger, I showed my emotions. When I was sad or down, I cried a lot because I saw it as a way of relief. I started senior secondary school and my classmates made fun of me and called me different names. "Act like a man" they would say."

 
The society and even men themselves have continued the pattern of not giving the male gender a safe space to be vulnerable, even when the minority tries, they get little to no support, attention or involvement. Men might not ask for support, sympathy or a listening ear because they do not deem it necessary, it is essential to have community that knows and can sense when you need encouragement or reassurance. Are you man enough to surround yourself with men that don't have stereotypes embedded in their minds, like opinions on how men should have vast sexual experience.

Don't be forced into acting in a way that is not true to you because you want to be considered "manly". Life goes beyond gender roles and diversification.
Be the change, Be man enough.