By Kemi Hadiza
It is 2023, yet, it is sadly no surprise that Hollywood starlet Lauren Keyana "Keke" Palmer's dress and the video of R&B singer Usher serenading her during a recent edition of his Vegas Residency show has become a topic of discussion across the globe.
The old saying that the more things change, the more they remain the same explains Palmer's public shaming by Darius Jackson, her partner and father to their infant son. Jackson, a fitness instructor, called out Palmer on Twitter, describing her attire to Usher's concert as inappropriate for a mum. 'It's the outfit tho.. you a mom', he tweeted.
Jackson's shaming of his partner, who is just a phone call away, led to a deluge of negative responses. Nevertheless, he remained defiant, tweeting, "We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn't want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is.
"This is my family & my representation. I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case," Jackson continues to tweet.
Palmer, on her part, has not publicly said anything, with the closest to a response being a post on her Instagram page, "I wish I had taken more pictures but we were running late! I am telling y'all right now, if you haven't seen @usher YOU MUST GO!! HE WAS SO FABULOUS!!', she wrote.
Miffed African Feminists
If the 'Maybe I'm Amazed' actress kept things mellow and even digging out her comedic side by cashing out and selling merchandise on the controversy with a sweatshirt having a 'I'm a motha' inscription now on sale, African feminists have come out blazing on Palmer's public humiliation by a man who should protect her at all times.
Efe Plange, a Ghanaian Doctoral student of Rhetoric focusing on Gender Inclusivity at the University of Texas El Paso, was one of the first to share her opinion on the roaring controversy. The vocal feminist and social commentator categorised Jackson's behaviour as another display of toxic masculinity, an attitude that she said is common among Black men.
Plange says, "You see, what Keke Palmer's baby daddy tweeted was not about her or Usher; it was a performance for the manosphere and to score some points in the eyes of the weak-minded men around him. Cos his sentiments could have easily been had privately with Keke. There is text, phone call, FaceTime, waiting for her to get back home.
"But nah, he needed to do it publicly to prove to his fellow men that although she may be the richer, popular, and more accomplished one in the relationship, he is still THE MAN of the relationship and can put her in her place," she posts on her Facebook page.
Plange, known for insisting that Black female role models can combine classy displays of their sexuality with building successful careers, further accused Palmer's embattled boyfriend of having double standards.
Same for famous Nigerian feminist Chinonyerem Ijeoma, who like Plange, spices her posts with her Igbo language and slang. "This Mr Keke, same thing. Talmbout "ayam tradishona" just so he can drag his girlfriend and mother of his kids. A traditional man does not have a child out of wedlock but he did. A traditional man provides for his family but he is an out of work fitness instructor who Keke feeds, clothes, houses and burps. Keke is the breadwinner, the butter bringer, the everything", she writes in a Facebook post.
Tiwa Savage Survived When Roe V Died
Looking across the globe, it is clear women have made tremendous progress socio-economically, but they have continued to struggle to retain progress made socio-politically and socio-culturally. The 19th Amendment of the US Constitution granted women the right to vote in August 1920, but by June 2023, the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, ending the right to abortion upheld for decades.
Monument Makhanya argued in his 2023 research titled, "Causes and Consequences of Toxic Masculinity: Can HeForShe Be a Solution for Gender-Based Violence"? that, "despite the wide variety of masculinities, there is a type of hegemonic masculinity that predominates in a particular society ."He explains that Black men were not considered when it comes to the strict definition of masculinity. "Other meanings are marginalised by this dominant masculinity in society. Hegemonic masculinity tends to exclude nonwhites, non-heterosexuals, and working-class males, dividing the benefits of patriarchy that these masculinities can access from those that hegemonic masculinity can", he notes.
Despite not being considered when modelling what is now perceived as hyper-masculinity, Kiersten Adams, in his op-ed published on Medium quotes Aryah Baker as saying that Black men adopted this bad attitude (especially to Black women and communities) to survive a system rigged against them. "Historically, Black men have opted into toxic masculinity to preserve their sanity and to protect and provide for their families. Beginning with slavery, America's sociopolitical structures and institutions have upheld a racially stratified, patriarchal class system that, to varying degrees, has oppressed everyone except wealthy white men. This reality, coupled with a desperation to escape racialized poverty, left Black men with no other choice but to attempt assimilating into the dominant culture", he quotes Baker as stating.
Many would describe Darius Jackson's outburst on social Twitter and his seeming refusal to recant and apologise to a Black man adopting white instituted patriarchy, which is disadvantageous to him and Black women.
While Black women in America had to wait long years to vote, Nigerian women did not have to fight for voting rights. Nevertheless, only some have been voted into power, with only three women sworn in as senators in 2023. If Nigerian women have enjoyed voting rights, the push to control their bodies is cultural.
However, Nigerian women are denouncing the culture of shame, which celebrated feminist and lawyer Esiri Uduaghan, says has kept women down. "Are you taking account of the times you are living in and the happenings around you? Take a look at our recent history. Shame is used as a suppressant and a limiting tool and every woman who has defied shame has prospered. Just think about it", she posited in a recent Facebook post.
Perhaps Nigerian award-winning singer Tiwa Savage overcame shame to publicly announce that she was being blackmailed by someone who grabbed a clip of her having sex with her partner, which he 'mistakenly' shared on Snapchat. The clip soon went viral, dividing Nigerians and music fans across continents. Tiwa did not miss a beat as she continued recording and featuring in songs, including the single "Loaded" with rave artist, Asake.
On the amapiano track, the self-acclaimed 'Number 1 African bad girl' sang that she was not ashamed of her leaked sex tape and would not allow the incident to destroy her.
Yet another Nigerian celebrity, Empress Njamah cried out over unending blackmail by her former lover George Wade, who took her nude pictures and videos without her permission. He has since been arrested in his home country Liberia. Gladingly, Empress enjoyed unprecedented support, especially from fans who condemned her blackmailer's antics and celebrated his arrest.
Speaking Out Boldly
Thanks to years of gender activism, mindsets are changing in African and Black communities. This probably explains why celebrated actress Yvonne Nelson could share the revelations that she made in her memoirs, "I am Not Yvonne Nelson”. Yvonne details her abandonment by famous rapper Sarkodie, for whom she got pregnant but was left alone to get an abortion. She also wrote of an affair with Nigerian singer Iyanya and her mother's revelation that the man she called father all her life was not her biological father.
Beyond celebrities largely cocooned from the harsh realities of being females in Africa or Black, more women are shrugging off blackmail and other forms of oppression, ensuring they survive difficult situations.
Things are changing for the better, and Black women are riding on the waves of change to survive situations that would have destroyed their mothers and grandmothers.